Thursday, February 26, 2004

Spring flowering

This time of year can be considered dreary with the big rains that soak the ground and the blustery winds that whip through the hills. But I like to focus on those friendly yellow daffodils that spot the brilliant green fields, with the occasional deep purple iris standing as companions. The dark clouds that filter the sunlight provide a contrasting background for the chewing gum-pink blossoms on the fruit trees.

This weekend marks the high-holy Oscar celebration.. we will be gathering at Dan & JL's for the annual party. I hear that we will be departing from the tradition of Chinese take-out. Also, I'm looking forward to getting my hair cut, and getting together with a couple of my future quartet members to sing and make plans. Yes, it's true, On Q! is going to be ending its 11-year run after contest in April. My next, new quartet will be introduced here.. watch this space...
Leah Brooks at 10:08 AM

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Mural walk

Last weekend Barbara and I joined a walking tour of the Mission to take a look at some of the beautiful murals. Precita Eyes Mural Center runs these tours every weekend on 24th Street. She is writing a story; I was there for the eye-candy. Here are some of my photos from the walk. I love the brilliant colors, but also wonderful, in a ghostly way, were the faded old murals that the sunshine and weather are erasing.
Leah Brooks at 9:14 AM

Friday, February 20, 2004

What a wonderful time to be alive

It's been an interesting week - as a same-sex married person! It's been fabulous to receive the responses to our news, especially from our non-gay friends. Overall, wonderful support and joy... as well as presents! that really surprised us. Of course, for years we have been giving gifts to our friends as they get married. But it never occured to us that we might ever be on the receiving end of the bounty.

I think that married people can, now that we are married too, support us in a way that is familiar to them. We all know the rites and rituals to follow when someone gets married - say congratulations, send a card, buy a gift. They never knew how to celebrate our partnership before - we never had a specific moment in time that allowed us to annouce, hey, we're domestic partners! or hey, we're in love!

Barbara's going to write an article about this, which I will post here when it's done.
Leah Brooks at 11:45 AM

Monday, February 16, 2004

By the power vested in me by the state of California...

I am a married woman now. Wow, what a wonderful day we had! The joy of the ceremony, the tedium of waiting in line, the fun of the crowd.

We got in the first line at 7:45, and within 5 minutes, the line behind us had doubled in length. Making friends with those in line, we soon found out that the doors wouldn't even open until 10, but we had managed to get in the correct line, which was for those who had not been there the day before. As we learned later, there were 320 gay couples who had gotten licenses on Saturday, but for whom they had not had time to perform ceremonies. When the officials came out and started counting off the couples who they thought they could process on Sunday, we just barely squeaked into the group of 80. Our cheers at being included in the group were captured by the CNN cameras.. we saw ourselves on tv last night.

Dan & JL came by the line on their way to Carmel, and brought us champagne, chocolates and flowers. Then Glenna & Jennifer arrived, just in time to get in the "marrying" group with us. The announcement was made telling us to come back at 1pm, so when Robert & James arrived, and Tina with Ariana, Jeremy and Aidan, we all went over to Hayes Valley for some brunch. Sitting out in a lovely patio with this incredible group was just as important to me as all the rest of it.

Back in line, we ran into some people we hadn't seen for years. We quickly entered City Hall, but after rushing down basement corridors and down and up stairs, we settled in for a long wait. (comparisons to Disneyland rides and contest patterns) It was fun to talk to friends and family on cell phones, and we got to know another set of folks in this new line. We met one couple who flew in yesterday all the way from South Carolina.

The city made the whole experience as smooth as possible. There were hundreds of volunteers - mostly people who had gotten married on Friday and wanted to help out - who came by to check our forms and tell us what to expect. Everyone congratulated us. The crowd cheered whenever a couple finished each stage of the process - hooray, they got their white form! yay, they paid their money! As we pranced out of the clerk's office with our white form, we sang "going to the chapel, and we're gonna get married"...

Then the four of us went up into the rotunda of city hall. It's such a grand space. Officials were marrying folks in every alcove and corner. We chose a spot under the clock on the balcony in front of the mayor's office, because "it's about time". Glenna & Jennifer held up a tapestry that we bought in Ecuador as the traditional jewish chupa over our heads, and we did the same for them.

We made our pledge to each other, and were proclaimed "spouses for life". We cried a lot.

By that time, it was after 3pm. We ate some cake that students from SFSU had brought in celebration, and we descended the rose-petalled front steps of city hall to great applause and a flurry of camera flashes.

Exhaustion settled in. We drove home and Barbara and I went and picked up the traditional wedding pizza. The dogs were glad to see us!
Leah Brooks at 5:17 AM

Sunday, February 15, 2004

On second thought...

Reading all the news yesterday about the gay marriages, and especially when I saw a picture of a couple holding the marriage license, I realized that this event is more than a political symbol. They are REALLY married... even if the court blocks or tries to void them, they can not take away the fact that the married couples will have all the legal rights and responsibilities granted them from the government. And I wanted more and more to be a part of this historic moment.

I thought that even if we plan to someday have a wedding with everything, we are STILL going to have to get a license in city hall, and why not now?

I thought about friends and family, and realized that we could ask our loved ones who are here to come and be our witnesses.

I asked Barb to marry me... and she said yes. We are going to city hall Sunday morning! that's today.. I'm up early, as usual.
Leah Brooks at 5:40 AM

Friday, February 13, 2004

Congratulations

Yesterday and today, many happy same-sex couples are getting hitched in San Francisco. Our friends Michael & Fred were among this morning's couples, as well as my co-worker Paul and his partner Brad. Congratulations to everyone involved. I feel proud to live in the San Francisco area.

We talked about going down there too, but felt that we would wait until we can marry in a way that is going to be recognized by the government. In the 80's, we got married in front of the IRS in Washington, and that type of ceremony, while important politically and symbolically, has no more appeal for me. If we are going to marry again, I want it all. I want every right that a straight couple gets. I want my friends and family as witnesses. I want to be all dressed up. I want music.

Here is an interesting list of all the rights that are conferred upon married couples.

The following material was provided by the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund. The list appears to be based on a request by Representative Henry J Hyde, in 1996-SEP. He was chairperson of the House Committee on the Judiciary, and asked the General Accounting Office "to identify federal laws in which benefits, rights and privileges are contingent on marital status."

The list below was compiled for a couple living in the United States. However, similar provisions exist in many other countries.

On the order of 1,400 legal rights are conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits. Among them are the rights to:
joint parenting;
joint adoption;
joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents);
status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent;
joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support;
immigration and residency for partners from other countries;
inheritance automatically in the absence of a will;
joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment;
inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate);
benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare;
spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home;
veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans;
joint filing of tax returns;
joint filing of customs claims when traveling;
wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children;
bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child;
decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her;
crime victims' recovery benefits;
loss of consortium tort benefits;
domestic violence protection orders;
judicial protections and evidentiary immunity;
and more....

Most of these legal and economic benefits cannot be privately arranged or contracted for. For example, absent a legal (or civil) marriage, there is no guaranteed joint responsibility to the partner and to third parties (including children) in such areas as child support, debts to creditors, taxes, etc. In addition, private employers and institutions often give other economic privileges and other benefits (special rates or memberships) only to married couples. And, of course, when people cannot marry, they are denied all the emotional and social benefits and responsibilities of marriage as well.

Leah Brooks at 10:52 AM

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Art expedition

Last Saturday we went into the city to go to the Museum of Modern Art. Along the way, we stopped at the restored Ferry Building, where they have installed some wonderful shops and markets, reminiscent of the shops in Grand Central Station in New York, or Faneuil Hall in Boston. There are lovely mosaics in the walls, and upstairs, a huge Seal of California done in mosaic on the floor.

The Diane Arbus exhibit was the reason that Barb & James wanted to go to the museum. I feel that Diane Arbus' photos have been on display everywhere from greeting cards to posters to coffee table books, and didn't expect to see or learn much about her that I hadn't already been exposed to. It turned out that she was a good writer, too, and the notes and letters accompanying the exhibit were quite interesting. But after a while I got tired of jostling among the crowds and went across the hall to the Romare Beardon exhibit.

There, I made the acquaintance of a wonderful collection of artwork by a previously unknown (to me) artist. The colors! the media! the textures! the subject matter! all made me so very happy. His technique was mostly to make collages of paper, some of which he painted on, and then to enlarge the collage photographically, and then to apply surface abrasion to the resulting print.

The look of the works was sort of cubist, and the colors were just magnificent. I liked the emphasis on music in many of the works.. you could hear the jazz through the implied motion of the design.

The Block
Musicians
Vampin'
Leah Brooks at 11:54 AM

A wonderful book

Barb gave me an early valentine's gift yesterday, because I was whining about having nothing to read. It's The Master Butchers Singing Club : A Novel by Louise Erdrich. What a great piece of work! It's the story of a German immigrant family living in North Dakota. It's just out in paperback, so get it now and enjoy.
Leah Brooks at 10:11 AM

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Glimpse into the past

Bringing up the topic of diaries the other day made me think about my shelf of diaries, written from when I was in 6th grade until I was in my mid-20s. So this morning, I reached up and pulled one down at random, to see what I was doing in February oh so many years ago. The one I opened was a little red volume that was started in July 1978 and ended in October 1979. I was living in Japan and was beginning to feel very stuck in a rut. There were very few foreigners in the town we lived in. I was feeling disconnected with the feminist movement that I had been so involved in before coming to Asia, and lonely for women, since I mostly taught groups of men.

The 2/6/79 entry that I transcribe below was a description of an outing that Nance & I took to Tokyo, to attend a feminist meeting.

Feb 6 - I had an interesting weekend - Nance & I rushed around to get in and out of Tokyo - the feminist meeting was different than I expected but a nice stimulation. We discussed what keeps Japanese women in their place - a rather fruitless talk, yet a way to glimpse how other women are living in Japan. I guess I was there mostly for being with foreign feminists, and there was little time to share personally. The atmosphere was chilly, due perhaps to it being a new group and perhaps to us being influenced by Japan. That's something I'd like to discuss. There's not much purpose to us being to esoteric - we should talk about things that happen to us. How Japan affects our lives, our opinions, etc. both for the better and the worse. Met some nice women. An extroverted Time/Life writer named Gretchen, a woman who writes for Mainichi newspaper, married to a Japanese, and a few others. We stayed with Anne and Tan Tip - who I liked very much. She is not like I expected; I guess I thought a Thai woman would be more "delicate" - she is powerfully centered and sends out warm energy. Anne is very stiff and dour in appearance but is similarly warm, and they make an interesting couple. We went to the public bath and had no more energy for hitting the town. Monday was a mess of trains and busses and mixed up schedules - we both had to cancel our class.

Feb 8 - Yesterday, a turning point in the winter - a fresh breeze of optimism from some crack in my consciousness. A busy day, which is what I hungrily crave - many busy days. Nance and I met two American women who came two weeks ago to work as hostesses. After a breathless exchange of info we flew off, in a euphoria of newness, of a chance for new activity - and we chewed over the possibilities together. And my inquiries into singing classes have led me to going tonight to hear a ki-yo-kyo-ku class with Lily, that dynamic dancer who I want to get to know so much. I came home to Yo-chan full of energy, jumping currents of power and excitement - and he can see my need for adventure.
Leah Brooks at 7:35 AM

Friday, February 06, 2004

Great quote

Rummaging around the internet, I came across this quote by Anais Nin:

"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are."

While I was in college, my friend Nance was obsessed with reading Anais Nin's diaries, and I picked them up too, and eventually read them all. I guess that's what diary writing and blogging is all about - seeing the world as WE are, noting the things that catch our attention, linking to things that we find attractive. What's fascinating about reading blogs is that opportunity to see through another's eyes.

I found a lovely blog yesterday that I mean to put on my daily reading list: Fragments from Floyd.
Leah Brooks at 12:14 PM

Sniffling through the week

I finally caught the cold that everyone around me has already had. I think I caught it in the carpool on Monday - as I climbed in the car, I realized that everyone in there was busy putting out a viral soup. But it really hasn't been too bad - one day where I couldn't think at all (interference in the sinuses) is not much to complain about. Today, I'm more human but my voice is still pitched a bit low. I give credit to mega-doses of vitamins and lots of liquids.

Coming up soon will be the California democratic primary. I just can not get interested in the campaign, mainly because none of the candidates have caught my interest. I don't understand why Dean had such appeal and then could lose it so quickly. If the media can influence voters to change their votes that quickly, I don't think the candidate had a very strong hold on them in the first place.

Leah Brooks at 10:46 AM

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Lipton's questions

What is your favorite word?
There are so many! scintillate, flabbergast, undulate, google

What is your least favorite word?
Most "four-letter words" are not pleasant to hear.

What turns you on?
Four-part vocal harmony

What turns you off?
Ignorance-driven anger

What sound or noise do you love?
Geese in the distance

What sound or noise do you hate?
Leaf blowers

What is your favorite curse word?
gosh darn it

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
A performer on a cruise ship

What profession other than yours would absolutely not like to attempt?
Recycling center worker.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the gates?
Turn right around, I have another assignment for you.
Leah Brooks at 8:36 AM

Monday, February 02, 2004

Soggy Monday

The rain has just now shown signs of letting up, but we had a Sunday that was completely wet and an equally moist morning today. This after a perfectly beautiful and sunny Saturday, which we could not take advantage of, because we were both at day-long indoor events.

Last night we saw "In America" with Glenna & Jennifer - it was a lovely film, with beautiful acting and a poignant message. The children in it were just incredibly great.


Leah Brooks at 12:58 PM